"Hide inside the music"
- Ashley
- Oct 3, 2017
- 3 min read
"Hold onto hope if you got it, Don't let it go for nobody, And they say that dreaming is free, But I wouldn't care what it cost me, Reality will break your heart, Survival will not be the hardest part, It's keeping all your hopes alive, When all the rest of you has died, So let it break your heart"
Paramore - "26"
I've been trying all day to gather my thoughts and truly grasp what has happened in Vegas. I'm not eloquent. This may not make sense, but I had to get my thoughts out.
It has been a hard day for music. We're dealing with not just this tragedy, but also the death of the legendary Tom Petty.
Music has been my whole world for as long as I can remember. Everyone knows me for going to a lot of shows and being obsessed with bands. My whole identity revolves around music. I honestly don't know who I'd be without it.
I grew up hearing my dad's southern rock/blues music. I wasn't a huge fan (although, I can appreciate it now). As a young person, I was obsessed with N'sync, but I obviously didn't really relate to their music.
It wasn't until I found Good Charlotte, The All American Rejects, and Fall Out Boy that I really realized how magical and therapeutic music is. These were the first bands that were mine. It wasn't my parent's music. It wasn't the kids at my school's music. It was just mine.
I found a home in the pop-punk genre. I found my therapy and an identity.
I've said this before, and I'll say it one hundred times, the first time I ever felt okay in my own skin was at a Fall Out Boy concert. I remember my dad taking me. They were opening for Motion City Soundtrack at the Tabernacle. He went to the balcony and let me stay on the floor.
I was standing there in a sea of people like me, singing the same songs as me, dressed like me, feeling like me.
It's a moment I will never forget as long as i live... and I forget a lot of things..
Even before I experienced this moment, music was always my thing. My dad started taking me to shows when I was 13. I never looked back. There's no telling how many bands I've seen or shows I've been to.
Music has not only been my therapy for all of these years, but it has introduced me to literally all of my best friends. We met at shows. We go to shows now. We talk about bands constantly. Music has done a lot for me. It's always been there for me.
Concerts are a place of acceptance and unity. They're places we go to forget how crappy this world is or forget how bad of a day we're having. We should not have to be afraid of being attacked in these spaces.
Since I've been going to shows, i've never been scared. Over 15 years, and I've never been scared. Sometimes I get nervous at festivals when there's a lot of pyro, but I've never truly been frightened.
I was at a concert last night a few hours before the shootings happened. I went to one tonight too. I can't say they felt the same.
It's good to see so many people come out for Paramore after the shooting last night, but hearts both on stage and in the crowd were heavy.
Hayley hoped that we were able to hide inside the music tonight, and I hope this for us all as well.
We can't let this person take our joy, harmony, or peace. Concerts have to continue to be a place of acceptance and love.
My thoughts are with all of the victims, families, friends, and anyone else who was affected by this tragedy including the music lovers who may feel unsafe now.
WE need to make a change.
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